Nightmares
by Unspoken Flame
Summary: This is what started my idea for Life After Death. Enjoy


_And now for the pre-story pep talk..._

_Well it has been forever since i have posted anything. Tonight i found myself free and bored so i touched up something i wrote last year. This is sort of supposed to tie in to my story "Life After Death". Actually, this is what started my idea for LAD_. Well i hope you enjoy.

_WARNING: I do not own Evangelion. If i did the angels would be giant muskrats...fucking muskrats_

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Nightmares  
By Unspoken Flame

Shinji woke up in a cold sweat, the memories from his dream fresh in his mind. _I can't believe I went through such pain; such anguish. And these nightmares..._ He cringed in disgust thinking about previous nightmares, from this and many nights before.

_Those machines, if you can call them machines. They're half organic and completely evil…so I guess you could call them androids. Huge androids. And I piloted them. That is, just one. I saved people from getting hurt but caused the end of the world. Then I saved the world. From death to rebirth my dreams are haunted by these images. My father and his "family values", my mother's death, the truth behind Evangelion and Instrumentality, Asuka, Rei, Misato, Kaji, Ritsuko, and everyone at Nerv. But it wasn't just me who went through that nightmare. Asuka did too…_

A pile of rolled up sheets start to stir next to Shinji. He looked towards the movement and the outline of a female in the linen is clear. Her blazing red hair is sprawled across a pillow like a solar flare. She seems very peaceful and doesn't look like she is in any type of distress.

_Asuka…you treat me so well. What have I done to deserve you? What happened to the time when you hated me, when you called me nothing? _

Shinji looked at Asuka for a little while longer and then lied back down looking up at the ceiling. After about a minute of staring at single patch of white on the ceiling he decided to get a glass of orange juice. Standing up, he moved to the kitchen where the fridge should be stocked up. Unknown to him, his movements woke his sleeping companion. Opening her eyes in a daze, she immediately looked for the mass that should be next to her. Noticing that he wasn't there, she went in search of him.

Shinji found the refrigerator with ease and poured himself a glass of juice. Sitting at the kitchen table he quietly sipped at his drink, eyes closed, thinking about his dreams, completely unaware of the figure walking towards him. Just as he took another sip, two hands wrap around his neck. Tensing for a second, only because the suddenness of the action, he relaxed just as quickly. Heads together, resting on Shinji's shoulder, she held onto him from behind rocking back and forth. A moment later she drew her head closer to him, resting her chin in the nook of his neck, mouth close to his ear.

"What are you doing up so late" she whispers.

Shinji shudders from the quiet question and grabs a hold of her hands with his own. "Nothing, just thinking about my dream," he says softly.

Asuka scrunched he forehead together and stared at him for a second. "Did you have another nightmare again?"

"Yes"

Squeezing him tighter and she pulled his head toward her so they could to look each other in the eyes. "But you're not the one who is supposed to have nightmares. I am."

Shinji smiled a bit and leaned in to give her a long, passionate kiss. When they moved apart, Asuka went to find a chair. Almost instantly, Shinji jumped up to help her. With his aid, she slowly eased herself into a nearby chair. As soon as she was comfortable Shinji poured her a glass of OJ in his unused glass. Accepting it with a smile, she too a sip. Shinji returned to his seat.

"It's funny. Years ago I would have thought sharing a glass was gross. Times do change…So what was it about this time?"

Shinji frowned. "It's hard to explain. Well, not hard to explain. It's not complicated, it just…frightened me."

The comment gave Asuka a big huge smile. "Shinji? Afraid? The Invincible Shinji? I never thought I would hear that." She leaned over, slowly, and gave him a kiss.

Shinji smiled weakly and returned the kiss. Satisfied, Asuka leaned back, all the while looking at Shinji. Shinji seemed content but still had a look of worry on his face. That made Asuka uneasy again.

"Why don't you tell me about it? I am a doctor of psychology after all"

"Oh? So now I need to be put through psychological analysis?"

Shaking her head, Asuka smiled. "Oh no, I'm asking you from a wife to a husband. The degree only helps" Shinji laughed.

He leaned on his elbows and cleared his throat.

"I was alone, all alone in a dark area. Nothing but silence everywhere and then you appeared. I would smile and move toward you and then you would disappear. Franticly, I search for you in the dark but I couldn't find you. Then Misato and Rei appeared across from me." The mention of them both made Asuka wince. Not noticing, Shinji continued.

"I ran towards them. They too disappear. I would search for them and then someone new would appear behind me. Ritsuko, Maya, Kaji, and other people at Nerv, they all appeared and disappear, leaving me alone. Then my father appeared. I went towards him, hesitantly, expecting to him to disappear like the rest of them. When I reach him he still hadn't disappeared. Then, in a split second decision, I grabbed onto him in a quick hug. No sooner had I grabbed him I noticed I had shrunk. I was 14 again". Tears began to form in Shinji's eyes and he was unable to speak. Noticing the tears, Asuka took his hand. With soft cooing words she tried to calm him down. With little pause he continued.

"Even though I hate my father so much I couldn't do anything but hug him. I didn't want to be alone. Not anymore. Even if I had to be with my father, I would not be alone. So I hugged him. I hugged him for an eternity and he said nothing. He just stood there. Then after what seemed like forever he spoke. He said 'Now I have use for you'. Almost instantly I felt something different. Hard, not soft like flesh. My arms spread apart and no longer touched. I looked up to find myself not hugging my father but the leg of Unit 1".

"I stepped back from it in fear. Unit 1 did nothing but stand there. Then its eyes glowed red and it jumped over me. It started to grapple with the mass-produced Eva's again. All around was death. Your Unit 2 lay on the ground, away from the battle. When I saw how battered and torn up it was, my heart sank. I started to run towards it but an arm from one of the mass produced Eva's fell in front of me, blocking my path. I looked back at the battle and saw the most horrible thing I have seen in my life. The beginning of Third Impact"

"My Eva was stung up on a crucifix of light while the other Eva's stood around it in a circle. Then, in a flash of light, everything changed. It was like the end of Third Impact again. I was lying on the beach. The world was desolate and utterly destroyed. All I could hear was the sound of waves on the sand. But only one thing could go through my mind. You would be here. You would be here and it will be all better. As long as she was here I won't be alone. I went to the part of the beach where you would be but you weren't there. It was then that I noticed the differences with the world. The ocean was not an ocean of LCL. It was water. There was no graveyard of light and Eva's. Just destruction. And probably the most important detail of all was that the giant statue of Rei was no longer there. It hadn't been there in the first place. So I sat on the beach. Alone. Eternally alone, and there was nothing I could do about it"

For the longest time silence hung in the room. The ticking of the clock and the soft, almost inaudible sound of water dripping from a faucet was all that could be heard. Asuka made the first move. She pulled her husband into a strong hug. After a moment she finally got the courage to look him in the face. As she leaned over she saw drops of water on his cheek. A full look proved that he was crying. Not a sound came from his mouth but the tears flowed with fury. He seemed so distant. His eyes, although clouded and red with tears, seemed to stare off into nothing, as if he just wanted to disappear. Without even thinking Asuka leaned forward and kissed him. She kissed him with so much passion and love that they both fell away from the table and to the floor.

As soon as she kissed him, even before they started to fall, Shinji woke up. He couldn't think of anything but her kissing him; anything but her. As soon as he regained any rational thought they had started to fall.

As they neared the floor Shinji took the initiative and held onto Asuka, taking the blunt of the fall and making sure she didn't get hurt at all. Breaking the kiss at the last moment, that is to say as soon as they hit the ground, Shinji winced in pain. He recovered quickly and instantly looked at Asuka, his eyes wide with worry. Asuka's hand instinctively moves to her large belly and started to rub it.

"What do you think you are doing! You could have hurt yourself…or the baby…"

Asuka silenced him with yet another kiss, this one, if it was possible, even more passionate then before. When she pulled away, she couldn't help but laugh at the face that Shinji was making; something crossed between worry and confusion.

"I honestly wasn't thinking. I just reacted. Just like you reacted to save me"

She gave him a quick kiss. "You aren't alone. If you are alone then I am alone. If I was alone then no one would be there to save me when I did stupid things like that. No one would be there to love me. I love you and I will always be there for you. Remember that"

Asuka moves to get up. On his feet in a fraction of a second Shinji scooped her into his arms. Startled by the action she let out an audible squeak. Leading the way into their bedroom, he ever so gently lay her down on the bed. She looked up at him with a loving gaze and smiled. Returning the smile he joined her, pulling the covers over them both. From behind, he held onto her until she falls asleep.

As soon as her light snores were heard, he sat up to think some more. _Am I alone in this world? Do my dreams tell me the truth?_ He looks back down at Asuka and at the enormous bulge where her belly was. _Can I be a good father? _Giving her belly a rub, Shinji saw Asuka smile ever so slightly, which made him smile. _I'm not alone if I have both of them. And I will try to be the greatest father ever. I will be nothing like my father. Never._ With that last thought Shinji drifted into another deep sleep, this one being quite peaceful. He will never have that dream again.

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_Hope you liked it. Look for my next chapter in LAD soon...as soon as i re-read the story again...hehheh. Thats what i get for not writing for a while. sorry  
Well now, at a risk of sounding like a cowboy, i have to go and rustle up some grub. Just write me a up a review and i will try to get a new chapter out this weekend. Night._  
_-Unspoken Flame _


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